Some Notes on Revising a Manuscript: Coherence and Storytelling

Some Notes on Revising a Manuscript: Coherence and Storytelling

On a first read of a completed manuscript, it’s a good time to check for overall coherence and storytelling.

Check for skipped time and space. It helps the reader if you cue each one. The cue only needs to be a sentence or phrase: “Ginger’s flight to Sri Lanka exhausted her, but the next day she journeyed to meet her contact.”

Check for logic mistakes or gaps; make sure Ginger isn’t in Vancouver one day and London the next, with no explanation.

Check to make sure each scene has only one point of view character, and that the character whose pov you’re using is clear to the reader.

Check for unnecessary transitions. You don’t always have to show people going into and out of rooms, walking across rooms, getting into their cars and driving places. If something else is happening, or the movement’s important to the plot or characterization, good. If not, consider cutting.

In a related matter, is every scene change necessary? Each one can be an excuse for the reader to stop reading. Especially if you take too long about it, or change too many times.

Check for scenes that could be acted out instead of narrated, or vice versa. Showing is usually better than telling if you’re really trying to get something across; but telling or summarizing can also be useful, especially for transitions. Note that if you tell too long, the reader is more likely to skim.

Alternatively, if you show too much–if the descriptive details go on and on–the reader is also more likely to skim. It helps to integrate the details into action, and scatter them throughout the narrative.

Check the beginning and ending. If you started later in the story, would the novel’s narrative drive be more intense? Does the ending reward the reader in some way? Does the beginning of the story prefigure its ending? Now might be a good time to edit a little and make that happen.

Look at flashbacks. Would that information be better presented otherwise, if at all? Does the information you give relate to this novel in particular, or is it just general information you had in your notes? Just because you made it up, doesn’t mean it has to go into the story. (Ditto for research—just because you researched it, doesn’t mean it has to go into the story.)

Finally, keep an eye on your characters. Sometimes there are too many, which can confuse the reader. Is it possible to combine two characters with the same role into one? For example, in Moonlight Mistress I had a character who was the younger brother of the heroine’s next door neighbor. The next door neighbor served no other purpose. The younger brother of the heroine’s next door neighbor worked much better, and was more emotionally significant, as simply the heroine’s brother.

Tomorrow, refining the prose.

Related posts:

Digesting Critique.

Dissecting Critique, Dissecting Manuscripts.

About Victoria Janssen

Victoria Janssen’s first erotic novel, The Duchess, Her Maid, The Groom and Their Lover (Harlequin Spice, December 2008), was translated into French and German. Her second Spice novel, The Moonlight Mistress (December 2009), was translated into Italian and nominated for a RT Reviews Reviewers’ Choice Award. Her third novel is The Duke & The Pirate Queen (December 2010). She has also published erotic short stories as Elspeth Potter. Her blog features professional writing and marketing tips, genre discussion, book reviews, and occasional author interviews.
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2 Responses to Some Notes on Revising a Manuscript: Coherence and Storytelling

  1. Ansha Kotyk says:

    My first drafts are pretty rough. I’m currently running through it to clear up much of what you have just outlined. Great info! Looking forward to tomorrow. :)

  2. Victoria Janssen says:


    I have variable success with some of the things on this list….

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