How to Make Money in Publishing (and other writing jokes)

Posted on November 1, 2009 by Victoria Janssen

How to Make Money in Publishing and other writing jokes

Question: How do you make a small fortune in publishing?

Answer: Start with a large fortune.

Question: How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Ten.
1st draft. Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft. Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft. Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft. Lose the light bulb.
5th draft. Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft. Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft. Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft. Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft. Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn’t change it.
10th draft. Hero changes light bulb.

Question: If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: the publisher who prints everything you write, an agent, or Santa Claus?

Answer: The agent. The other two indicate you are hallucinating.

About Victoria Janssen

Victoria Janssen [she, her] currently writes cozy space opera for Kalikoi. The novella series A Place of Refuge begins with Finding Refuge: Telepathic warrior Talia Avi, genius engineer Miki Boudreaux, and augmented soldier Faigin Balfour fought the fascist Federated Colonies for ten years, following the charismatic dissenter Jon Churchill. Then Jon disappeared, Talia was thought dead, and Miki and Faigin struggled to take Jon’s place and stay alive. When the FC is unexpectedly upended, Talia is reunited with her friends and they are given sanctuary on the enigmatic planet Refuge. The trio of former guerillas strive to recover from lifetimes of trauma, build new lives on a planet with endless horizons, and forge tender new connections with each other.
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One Response to How to Make Money in Publishing (and other writing jokes)

  1. George says:
    November 16, 2009 at 6:08 am

    Interesting post… I can see that you put a lot of hard work on your blog. I'm sure I'd visit here more often. George from how to make money fast.

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