Excerpt from a War Nurse’s Diary: The Retreat

In The Moonlight Mistress, it’s mentioned in passing that Antwerp fell to the Germans. Here’s a first-person account about that event which I didn’t get to use in my novel (yet!).

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Excerpt from A War Nurse’s Diary: Sketches From A Belgian Field Hospital (1918):

“We felt in taking these buses that we were no longer robbing the Marines. Many of them were with us; many more were dead and had no use for them. It was now 3 P. M. on Thursday. As soon as the five buses arrived we commenced loading them up with our wounded. Those who could sit up were placed on top and the stretcher cases lay across from seat to seat inside. We formed a long procession, for there were five private cars as well. My car was the first to get loaded, and 1 was put in charge of the inside passengers. Shall we ever forget the loading up of those cars? They tried to save all the theatre instruments. What an eternity it seemed! Just sitting still, with the guns at last trained on to our locality.

One of the young doctors ran upstairs for his kitbag; half-way up, the wall suddenly collapsed, revealing the next house in ruins. He left that kitbag behind! Even to the last minute patients arrived, chiefly British. Just before we started a tall Marine in a navy jersey and sailor’s cap was helped in. He sat in the corner next to me. All his ribs were broken down one side, and he had no plaster or support. Opposite me were two Tommies with compound fractures of the leg. 1 placed both legs on my knees to lessen the jolting.

The Marine suffered in silent agony, his lips pressed tightly together, and his white face set. 1 looked at him helplessly, and he said “Never mind me, Sister; if I swear don’t take any notice.” Fortunately, they had pushed in two bottles of whiskey and some soda-syphons; I just dosed them all around until it was finished. Placing the Marine’s arm around my shoulders, I used my right arm as a splint to support his ribs, and so we sat for seven and a half hours without moving. Then another nurse took my place and I went up on top. During the first part of the ride I bethought me of that tube of morphia, and it came in very useful, as I gave each of those poor sufferers one or two tablets to swallow.

How can I ever describe that journey to Ghent of fourteen and a half hours? No one but those who went through it can realize it. Have you ever ridden in a London motor bus? If not, I can give little idea of what our poor men suffered. To begin with, even traversing the smooth London streets these vehicles jolt you to bits, whilst inside the smell of burnt gasoline is often stifling, so just imagine these unwieldy things bumping along over cobble stones and the loose sandy ruts of rough tracks among the sand-dunes, which constantly necessitated every one who could, dismounting and pushing behind and pulling by ropes in front, to get the vehicle into an upright position again, out of the ruts. When you have the picture of this before you, just think of the passengers—not healthy people on a penny bus ride, but wounded soldiers and sailors. Upon the brow of many Death had set his seal. All those inside passengers were either wounded in the abdomen, shot through the lungs, or pierced through the skull, often with their brains running out through the wound, whilst we had more than one case of men with broken backs. Many of these had just been operated upon.

We started from the Boulevard Leopold at 3 in the afternoon. We arrived in Ghent at 5.30 next morning. For twenty-four hours those men had had no nourishment, and we were so placed that it was impossible to reach them. Now that you understand the circumstances, I will ask you to accompany me on that journey.

Leaving our own shell-swept street which seemed like hell let loose, we turned down a long boulevard. From one end to the other the houses were a sheet of flames. We literally travelled through a valley with walls of fire. Keeping well in the middle of the street we constantly had to make detours to avoid large shell-holes. At last we arrived at one of the large squares near the Cathedral. That appeared to be intact, whilst the Belgians had taken Rubens’ and Van Dyck’s famous pictures and hidden them in the crypts.

Every sort of vehicle in existence filled that square. It would have been possible to have walked across on the top of the cars. The only way to get out of Antwerp was across the Scheldt by a pontoon-bridge made of barges with planks between. It would not bear too much traffic, so the authorities let the people and vehicles cross one by one, still looking at passports.

For one and a half hours we stood there waiting for our turn to come. Just after we were safely over a shell struck the bridge and broke it in half.

From Antwerp to St. Nicolas is about twenty miles. It was the Highway of Sorrow. Some people escaped in carriages and carts, but by far the greater number plodded on foot. It was now 5 P. M. on an October evening; there was a fine drizzling rain; it was cold and soon it was dark. Along that road streamed thousands, panic-stricken, cold, hungry, weary, homeless. Where were they going? Where would they spend the night? Here was a mother carrying her baby, around her skirts clung four of five children, small sisters of five or six carried baby-brothers of two years old. There was a donkey cart piled high with mattresses and bundles and swarming on it were bedridden old men and women and babies. Here was a little girl wheeling an old fashioned cot-perambulator, with an old grey-bearded man in it, his legs dangling over the edge. Suddenly a girl’s voice called out of the darkness, “Oh Mees, Mees, take me and my leetle dog with you. I have lost my father and he has our money.” So we gave her a seat on the spiral stairs outside.

Very soon all the ills that could happen to sick men came upon us. The jolting and agony made them violently sick. Seizing any utensil which had been saved from the theatre I gave it to them, and we kept that mademoiselle busy outside. All along the road we saw little groups, weary mothers sitting on the muddy banks of a ditch sharing the last loaf among the family. After some time of slow travelling we came to St. Nicolas. Here the peasants ran out warning us, “The Germans have taken the main road to Ghent and blown up the bridge.” So we went on by little lanes and by-ways across the sanddunes and flat country that lie between Belgium and Holland.

We were very fortunate in having with us a Captain of the Belgian Boy Scouts. He knew the way and guided us. Soon the order went forth from car to car, “Lights out and silence!” Later on we saw the reason for this; across some sloping fields by a river we saw the tents and glimmering lights of the Germans. We passed very few houses, as we avoided towns and villages; any habitations we saw were shuttered and barred, for the people hid in terror expecting every one who passed to be the dreaded enemy. All this time our men were in torture, constantly they asked “Are we nearly there, Sister? How much longer?” I, who was strong, felt dead beat, so what must they have felt? One weary soul gave up the battle and just died. We could not even reach him to cover his face as he lay there among his companions.

From St. Nicolas I was faced with new anxiety. Where were our friends who went to Ghent with the first convoy of wounded? Had they taken the main road and fallen into the hands of the Germans? I thought of all the tales I had heard of the treatment Englishwomen received at their hands. At any place where people were visible we anxiously inquired if three buses had passed that way earlier. We could get no satisfactory answer.

Soon we began to meet the first detachments of the Expeditionary Force. In a narrow lane with a ditch on one side lay an overturned cannon whilst a plump English Major cursed and swore in the darkness. Then a heavy motor lorry confronted us; one of us had to back till a suitable place came in the narrow lane where we could pass. Later on we met small companies of weary Tommies, wet and footsore, who had lost their way. Our Scout Captain warned them to turn back, telling them the Germans had by now entered Antwerp, but they did not believe us. Even had they believed us, they had their orders to relieve Antwerp, so to Antwerp they went, never to return.

At last that weary night came to an end. For some hours I had been relieved by another nurse, and sat on top in the rain and cold. The medical students were so worn out that they lay down in the narrow passage between the seats and slept, oblivious of our trampling over them. Before dawn we entered the suburbs of Ghent.”

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The Pronoun Problem

If you haven’t read it yet, check out this article in the LA Weekly: Man on Man: The New Gay Romance. Some of the arguments will be familiar to slash fans, but I was impressed that they interviewed Constance Penley, among others.

One of the problems unique to writing homosexual erotica is pronouns. How do you distinguish he from he or she from she without repeating names or resorting to “the other man” or similar awkward constructions?

I’ve found paragraphing to be a good way to delineate one character from another while avoiding attribution. Sticking to one point of view throughout is also useful, because then the non-pov character is seen by the reader as other automatically.

Here’s an example. I used paragraphs here, as well as Travis’s pov. All feelings described thus are experienced by him.

Travis closed his eyes, already tired again. “Ohhh.”

“Not hurting you, am I?”

“No…,” Travis said in a low voice. Will was massaging his foot. The sensation was indescribable; a little longer and he would be moaning with sheer physical gratification.

Will shifted to better reach Travis’s foot. “You looked like you could use this.”

“Your hands are warm,” he noted, muzzily.

“Your foot’s cold,” Will said, running his callused thumb from heel to arch.

“Cold all over,” Travis said. He closed his eyes tighter, to concentrate on Will’s fingers gently rubbing his toes. Little swirls of pleasure seemed to caress his calves, his thighs, and even higher.

“We could work on that, too,” Will said. Travis’ eyes fluttered open, then Will continued, “Don’t you have any socks?”

This next method, single pov, was a little less successful. I still had to stoop to “her partner” at one point.

In this example, I didn’t paragraph as much, but tried to move clearly from a section of one character’s action to the other’s.

“You could’ve come back earlier,” Laurel grumped, pulling her face out of a flannel-covered pillow. She stared with narrowed eyes as Zondra stripped out of her post-midterm club clothes, the silver lycra pungent with sweat and cigarette smoke. With a flourish, Zondra whipped out her hair sticks; curls deluged down her bare back. Flinging her arms wide, she waited for applause.

“I’m sleepy,” Laurel said. “And I have rounds in the morning.” But she licked her lips.

Zondra knelt beside her on the bed, her muscular thighs like a perfect ski slope. Laurel began to sit up, deciding she needed to sink her teeth into that luscious flesh, but her partner leaned over and pressed her facedown again.

In this example, I avoided too much switching back and forth between names with descriptive action; since I stayed in Mariamoni’s pov, I didn’t need attribution for the action – it’s clear who’s feeling the sensations, and who’s causing them.

Trude’s mouth came down on hers, wide and wet and warm. She sucked at Mariamoni’s lips as if they were small candies in the flavor she desired above all others. Mariamoni had never realized how slick and hot the interior of a mouth could be, nor how sweet. … She tugged restlessly at her bonds.

Trude gradually shifted position, bringing their bodies closer together. Mariamoni welcomed her warmth and weight, especially the pressure against her bosom, that created a certain deep, pleasurable ache. Her limbs ached, too, with yearning to wrap herself around Trude, a yearning that could not be satisfied.

Looking at these examples made me realize how long it’s been since I’ve written any short fiction!

Related post: Making It Good.

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Robert Frost, "War Thoughts At Home"

War Thoughts at Home

On the back side of the house
Where it wears no paint to the weather
And so shows most its age,
Suddenly blue jays rage
And flash in blue feather.

It is late in an afternoon
More grey with snow to fall
Than white with fallen snow
When it is blue jay and crow
Or no bird at all.

So someone heeds from within
This flurry of bird war,
And rising from her chair
A little bent over with care
Not to scatter on the floor

The sewing in her lap
Comes to the window to see.
At sight of her dim face
The birds all cease for a space
And cling close in a tree.

And one says to the rest
“We must just watch our chance
And escape one by one
Though the fight is no more done
Than the war is in France.”

Than the war is in France!
She thinks of a winter camp
Where soldiers for France are made.
She draws down the window shade
And it glows with an early lamp.

On that old side of the house
The uneven sheds stretch back
Shed behind shed in train
Like cars that long have lain
Dead on a side track.

–Robert Frost (January 1918)

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Robert Frost, "Not To Keep"

Not to Keep

They sent him back to her. The letter came
Saying… And she could have him. And before
She could be sure there was no hidden ill
Under the formal writing, he was in her sight,
Living. They gave him back to her alive
How else? They are not known to send the dead
And not disfigured visibly. His face?
His hands? She had to look, and ask,
“What was it, dear?” And she had given all
And still she had all they had they the lucky!
Wasn’t she glad now? Everything seemed won,
And all the rest for them permissible ease.
She had to ask, “What was it, dear?”

“Enough,”
Yet not enough. A bullet through and through,
High in the breast. Nothing but what good care
And medicine and rest, and you a week,
Can cure me of to go again.” The same
Grim giving to do over for them both.
She dared no more than ask him with her eyes
How was it with him for a second trial.
And with his eyes he asked her not to ask.
They had given him back to her, but not to keep.

–Robert Frost (1923)

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Nifty Werewolf Books

If you have a chance, check out Werewolves At Home, a webcomic tie-in to The Moonlight Mistress.

This is a list of werewolf books that I’ve liked a lot or had recommended to me. Suggestions welcome!

Benighted (alternate title: Bareback) by Kit Whitfield is one of the most original werewolf novels I’ve ever read. There’s a romance, but this isn’t a romance novel (so don’t expect a happy ending). If not for the werewolves, I would call it mainstream or noir suspense. The world of the novel is filled with werewolves, and on moon nights the only ones who can police the lunes are “barebacks,” humans who through a genetic accident cannot change form. Lunes lock themselves up on moon nights, or are supposed to make their way to designated shelters, but what about the children with no oversight? The drunks who can’t find their way to a lockup? The lunes who like running free and don’t care if they hurt someone?

It’s also a novel about minority oppression, from the first-person pov of a bareback who works as a sort of lawyer for those involved when lunes attack humans. When the book opens, she’s slated to defend a lune who bit off a bareback’s hand, and she’s pretty sure it wasn’t strictly an accident.

Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause. This one’s Young Adult. Interestingly, the heroine is the werewolf; she is wrestling with her love for a human boy, and whether he can accept her wolf-self.

Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn. This urban fantasy series is still going on, and I’m still enjoying it – recently, Vaughn added some new plot elements that I think gave the series new life. What I like best about it is Kitty’s radio show, which despite its supernatural discussion topics, feels absolutely real to me. I also loved, in the first book, Vaughn’s take on pack dynamics.

Alien Taste by Wen Spencer is not quite a werewolf novel, but it sort of is at the same time. It has some really wacky stuff in it, nothing like anything else out there, and I recommend it for that reason.

Finally, Lycanthia or Children of the Wolves by Tanith Lee is fantasy, and thick with gothic atmosphere and her complex, unique prose. I didn’t actually like the protagonist much, but this is a great read for when you’re bundled up in a blanket, occasionally staring out a snowy window.

Related post: Spooky Book Recommendations.

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Insta-Love

What are your feelings on Love At First Sight?

Usually, I can’t believe in it. If it happens in a story, usually I don’t want to read any more. If the characters already know what they want, before I’ve seen anything of their characters, what’s the point? Why should I care?

I don’t need to know a lot about the characters to find them interesting. Even one tasty fact can give me a handle, such as “wounded veteran of the Napoleonic Wars” or “penniless bluestocking.” But I want the characters to know more than that about each other before they decide they’re in love.

If insta-love happens to one character but not the other, then I’m more interested. That situation gives isntant conflict: he’s fallen in love with her, she doesn’t care he exists, or vice versa. He wants what he can’t have. That makes sense to me, in life as well as in story.

Or one can play with the insta-love. I’ve seen that done well, for example if the heroine is smitten by the hero’s unbelievable good looks, but then he does something obnoxious and she falls out of love with him, only to learn that her father has secretly engaged her to marry the guy…again, the conflict.

It’s the same for me when reading erotica, or even more so. Some readers don’t want to waste time on the, umm, preliminaries when reading erotica. Insta-love (or insta-lust) is a way to get on with the erotic portion of the story. Conflict might well burgeon later, but starting the story with a sex scene can quickly get a reader’s attention, and then the writer can accomplish characterization through her characters’ behavior during the sex scene. That’s tricky, though, and not everyone can pull it off.

The more I think about it, the more I realize the only way I can accept insta-love is if it causes more story problems than it solves.

Related Posts:
How To Make the Mating Instinct Work, by Crystal Jordan.

Why I Love the Marriage of Convenience Plot.

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Grit Under My Boots

If I’m reading a historical novel, or for that matter, a science fiction or fantasy novel, or a romance, or any other genre, I want to feel the grit underneath my boots.

Even in a shiny futuristic city where everyone wears white because nothing is dirty, I want to see the dirt. Because the dirt has to be there somewhere. Someone has to be cleaning up that shiny city. Maybe it’s robots. But somebody takes care of the robots, or the robots have artificial intelligence, and I want to know how they feel about their role in making the city shiny for the humans.

Or in a historical, I want the dirt. If the story’s about rich people, I at least want hints of what their servants do and think, and how the rich people think about those issues. I understand the story’s not about that, but I still want to know, just enough to fill the place in my brain that suspends my disbelief.

If I don’t get the grit, or even the hint of grit, I feel the lack. The world isn’t real to me, and thus the story can’t be true. By “true” I mean that it speaks to me, that there is a truth to the story I can feel deep down. A story with truth is honest. It doesn’t ignore the realities of our world: gender discrimination, racism, classism, human rights. Even in a book that’s meant to be an escape, I want to know it’s possible, in the imaginary world of the book, to address those issues. If they’re ignored too completely, it’s like the door of an enclave slamming down: you’re not allowed in here.

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It’s All in the Details

This post originally appeared at Lust in Time.

My new book from Harlequin Spice, a historical with werewolves, is titled The Moonlight Mistress and it’s out this month. I’ve been amusing myself by going through my copy and re-reading my favorite moments, many of which are bits of historical detail. I love the tiny bits best.

See, I am a total geek and really love research for its own sake. It grieves me that I don’t have time to read every one of my research books cover to cover…I buy rather more research books than I really need, and some of them are only peripherally related to the topics of my novels, but they’re all just so interesting! And that’s not even counting the books I check out of the library.

Just in case some of you readers are research geeks as well, here are my favorite World War One historical bits from The Moonlight Mistress and where I found them. I think that often the most interesting details, that give the greatest sense of realism to the narrative, are not the most major. It’s the tiny, unusual facts that stand out for the reader.

The novel’s opening line is “There were no trains to Strasbourg.” And this is absolutely true. When the first declarations of war were flying back and forth, all sorts of daily activities were affected. I pored over Lyn Macdonald’s 1914: The Days of Hope, which is a collection of first-person accounts placed into chronological order. One of those accounts, from the very day Germany declared war, mentioned in passing that there were no trains to Strasbourg. I couldn’t shake that bit of information from my head; something about the specificity of it, and the narrator’s shock that things were not as they should be, perfectly summed up for me the feelings of a character who’s just found out they are stranded. I never considered using another opening.

“Best of all, there was a shower…with brass fittings on three walls in the shape of lily blossoms, and tiled in green-and-white patterns like lacework.” Though I took liberties with the decorative elements, this idea of this period-appropriate shower originated in one I actually saw, at Casa Loma in Toronto; the real shower actually had six taps at three different levels. As a side note, the fancy ducal stables in The Duchess, Her Maid, The Groom and Their Lover were based on stables I saw at Casa Loma.

The extensive section on the arrival of the British Expeditionary Force in France, and the subsequent battle and retreat, was mostly drawn from first-person accounts in Macdonald’s 1914 with some fragments of information coming from several more general accounts of the First World War, including John Keegan’s The First World War and, to a lesser extent, Paths of Glory: The French Army 1914-18. The fate of the regiment’s boy trumpeters – to be left behind when their regiment sailed to war – came directly from the first-person accounts, as did the information that bandsmen might be assigned to be stretcher bearers. More than one account mentioned that many of the soldiers had new, ill-fitting boots. Even the crops growing in the fields the soldiers passed were all noticed by contemporary observers.

Many of the quotidian details about the lives of the British soldiers I drew from Tommy: The British Soldier on the Western Front 1914-1918 by Richard Holmes, including small economic facts such as this one: “…Lincoln owed Hailey a guinea sixpence, enough for a new overcoat.”

Finally, most of the information about the hospital where Lucilla goes to work were extrapolated from The Women of Royaumont: A Scottish Women’s Hospital on the Western Front and several other volumes about or written by British nurses and VADs. After taking the basic information, that there were hospitals staffed almost entirely by women, I blended details from different sources to suit my purposes, combining occurrences and locations. For instance, “She managed a greeting in Hindustani; her phrases were limited, but efficient” was drawn from a first-person account by a nurse who served on a hospital train, in Diary of a Nursing Sister on the Western Front: 1914-1915. Shipment and supply problems at Royaumont led me to include this bit of detail: “Tanks of nitrous oxide were procured, but some of the tanks of oxygen needed to mix with it had leaked and arrived empty, and had to be replaced.”

I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. At the start of a project, you never know what details you might need and which sources might have the best details, so it’s best to check out a wide range, and to pay close attention to everything.

Related Posts:
Historical Detail in Fiction.
Synergy in Writing and Research.
Reading for the Writer.

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Visiting Harlequin’s Paranormal Romance Blog

I’m a guest today at Harlequin’s Paranormal Romance Blog on “Werewolves in World War One? Why Not?” It’s about why I chose those two elements, and also a little about werewolf sex.

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Siegfried Sassoon, "In the Pink"

In the Pink

So Davies wrote: ‘This leaves me in the pink.
Then scrawled his name: ‘Your loving sweetheart, Willie’.
With crosses for a hug. He’d had a drink
Of rum and tea; and, though the barn was chilly,
For once his blood ran warm; he had pay to spend.
Winter was passing; soon the year would mend.

But he couldn’t sleep that night; stiff in the dark
He groaned and thought of Sundays at the farm,
And how he’d go as cheerful as a lark
In his best suit, to wander arm in arm
With brown-eyed Gwen, and whisper in her ear
The simple, silly things she liked to hear.

And then he thought: to-morrow night we trudge
Up to the trenches, and my boots are rotten.
Five miles of stodgy clay and freezing sludge,
And everything but wretchedness forgotten.
To-night he’s in the pink; but soon he’ll die.
And still the war goes on–he don’t know why.

–Siegfried Sassoon, The Old Huntsman and Other Poems, 1918

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